Somewhere
by dupton
Summary: -COMPLETE- Joey was with Rachel but Ross took her away. Six years later, they reflect upon it.
1. I Know You By Heart

I Know You By Heart  
  
Author's Note: This fanfic is a one off, but if I get some good reviews I may do a Rachel one as well. The song is I Know You By Heart by Eva Cassidy.  
  
UPDATED - If you don't like this, don't review. Bad reviews are pointless. I welcome criticism but there's no need to insult me. I know I've made Ross rather harsh, so don't tell me that, I know. But it was needed for the purpose of this story, so it happened.  
  
Premise:What does Joey feel when Rachel leaves?  
  
Disclaimer:I do not own Joey, Ross or Rachel, although I wish I did.  
  
Midnights in winter  
The glowing fire  
Lights up your face in  
Orange and gold  
  
He stared at her picture, which was illuminated by the lamplight in the otherwise dark room.  
She was beautiful. Joey, curled up in his barcolounger, closed his eyes and pictured her face. It still made him smile, even after all these years.  
He remembered walking down the street with her, hands together, kicking the leaves that lay on the pavement. She had been happy then. Like she was now.  
The only difference was, she wasn't here. With him.  
  
I see your sweet smile  
Shine through the darkness  
It's line is etched in  
My memory  
  
His brain played a moving image. She was laughing. That was when she looked the most beautiful.  
The darkness encircled him, but picturing her face banished it again. Even though she wasn't here, she still protected him. She cared for him still. He knew that.  
Just not in the way he wanted.  
  
So I'd know you by heart  
  
His mental image of her was perfect. Every movement, look, expression true to life.  
  
Mornings in April  
Sharing our secrets  
We'd walk until the  
Morning was gone  
  
He'd enjoyed every second of their time together. He could remember nowhere he'd been that hadn't been one hundred times better with her there.  
She'd been happy with him. But then she had been snatched away by what people called her "true love".  
He knew he should hate this person, for taking away his happiness, but he didn't. He'd known it would happen. But that doesn't mean he'd wanted it to.  
  
We were like children  
Laughing for hours  
The joy you gave me  
Lives on and on  
  
Memories of her flashed through his head. The kiss in Barbados...... when he'd first told her how he felt...... she'd even put a book in the freezer for him......  
Everyone told him he'd get over her, that he'd meet someone else, but the truth was, he didn't want to. He clung onto it, loving her, because remembering her was the only thing that made him happy.  
  
'Cause I know you by heart  
  
He never saw her anymore: he wasn't allowed to. But she was still his - in his head.  
  
I still hear your voice  
On warm summer nights  
Whispering like  
The wind  
  
He heard her voice: gentle, soft, loving. It enveloped him, warming him up: he was with her again.  
Then the charade dropped. He was alone, as he always was, as he would always be, as he was meant to be.  
  
You left in Autumn  
The leaves were turning  
I walked down roads of  
Orange and gold  
  
He cried.  
He remebered the day she left: he didn't even get a chance to say goodbye. A note. That's all her "true love" had allowed her to give him. And even that had been closely monitored, it was clear.  
Dear Joey,  
I'm sorry. Ross is the one I should be with.  
We've moved to Boston.  
Don't try to call.  
  
Rachel  
  
I saw your sweet smile  
I heard your laughter  
You're still here  
Beside me  
Everyday  
  
The letter had lots of crossed out words, and was dotted and smudged with tears.  
He held it to his chest. Even though it was the thing that had hurt him most, it was his last memory of her, and he cherished it.  
  
'Cause I know you by heart  
  
Six years. Six years and he hadn't seen her, or spoken to her. He should have moved on. But he couldn't. And he didn't want to.  
The woman he wanted was her, and if he couldn't have her, he didn't want anybody.  
  
'Cause I know you by heart  
  
He knew this isn't what she'd she'd want. She want him to be happy.  
But he couldn't. He loved her.  
He held the letter to his chest, stared at her picture, and cried. 


	2. My Heart Will Go On

My Heart Will Go On  
  
Author's Note: I orginally planned I Know You By Heart to be a one off, demonstrating what would happen to Joey when the ineveitable happened. But I liked it so much that I decided to continue to show how Rachel felt. This ends with a cliffhanger, and another chapter will follow. And, as if I need to tell you, the song here is My Heart Will Go On by Celine Dion, the love theme from the film Titanic.  
  
UPDATED - If you don't like this, don't review. Bad reviews are pointless. I welcome criticism but there's no need to insult me. I know I've made Ross rather harsh, so don't tell me that, I know. But it was needed for the purpose of this story, so it happened.  
  
Premise: Rachel might not be as happy as Joey thinks.  
  
Disclaimer: I do not own Rachel, Joey, Ross or Emma (unfortunately).  
  
Every night in my dreams  
I see you, I feel you,  
That is how I know you go on  
Far across the distance  
And spaces between us  
You have come to show you go on  
  
Rachel sat in the darkness, like she did every night. Ross and Emma were asleep, but Rachel needed to think. Like she did every night.  
She'd tried to forget him, she really had. But she couldn't. He was always there, in her mind.  
She never saw him anymore - Ross wouldn't let her. She couldn't even see him on the television anymore, because he'd been fired for his 'slipping work'.  
She knew exactly why his work was slipping. And it gave her a strange comfort, knowing he was missing her too.  
  
Near, far, wherever you are  
I believe that the heart does go on  
Once more you open the door  
And you're here in my heart  
And my heart will go on and on  
  
She remembered their first kiss. It couldn't have been more perfect.  
She'd opened her hotel room door, and he was standing there. He had a strange look on his face, like he'd finally come home.  
And then he kissed her. It was gentle, soft, and tender: the most magical kiss she'd ever had.  
And she thought she'd never have that again.  
  
Love can touch us one time  
And last for a lifetime  
And never let go till we're one  
Love was when I loved you  
One true time I hold to  
In my life we'll always go on  
  
She'd tried to stop loving him at first, but she'd given up when she realised it was impossible.  
She'd broken his heart twice. But the second time, she'd broken her own as well.  
Somehow Ross had convinced her she should be with him. He'd used their daughter as a weapon, saying it was what Emma needed. He'd let her write a note, but he'd crossed out so many of her heartfelt words that it ended up looking more like a formal letter, and it was smudged so badly by her tears it was almost illegible.  
At least he knew she hadn't gone easily.  
  
Near, far, wherever you are  
I believe that the heart does go on  
Once more you open the door  
And you're here in my heart  
And my heart will go on and on  
  
She had been happy. She had loved him more than she had ever loved anyone. She still did.  
She hated Ross for stealing her happiness. Even Emma missed him. Emma had seen how happy her mum had been, and how unhappy she was now.  
But Emma was just a child. She didn't know what was best for her, let alone her mother.  
Or did she?  
  
You're here, there's nothing I fear,  
And I know that my heart will go on  
We'll stay forever this way  
You are safe in my heart  
And my heart will go on and on  
  
Rachel's head span.  
This worked. It was a stable home for Emma, with her real father, and they had plenty of money to support her. They had a big house, in a good area, in a good city.  
But she wasn't happy.  
She pictured the other scenario. Little money, a small apartment, confusing Emma as she went back and forth.  
But she'd be happy.  
  
Making a concious decision, she scrawled a note to Ross and Emma, placed her wedding ring on top of it, grabbed her coat, and left. 


	3. Trouble

Trouble  
  
Author's Note: This chapter took a long time, I know. I'm still not sure about it, so anyone reading this tell me what you think of it. There is one more chapter to come. The song used is Trouble by Coldplay.  
  
UPDATED - If you don't like this, don't review. Bad reviews are pointless. I welcome criticism but there's no need to insult me. I know I've made Ross rather harsh, so don't tell me that, I know. But it was needed for the purpose of this story, so it happened. And hopefully this chapter goes some way to explaining that.  
  
Premise: Why was Ross so harsh all those years ago?  
  
Disclaimer: I own none of these characters. I know, it's really unfair.  
  
Oh no, I see,  
I spun a web, it's tangled up with me,  
And I lost my head,  
The thought of all the stupid things I said,  
  
Ross read the note with a sinking heart.  
She'd gone.  
He couldn't say he was surprised: her grim and unhappy face had told him she would for over a year now. But he'd still hoped that she would never actually leave.  
The early morning sun reflected off the golden ring she'd left behind. It had been a symbol of their love for each other; at least to Ross it had. It was clear to him now that their marriage was one of convience to her, done because she'd had no other choice; done for Emma.  
  
Oh no what's this?  
A spider web, and I'm caught in the middle,  
I turned to run,  
The thought of all the stupid things I've done,  
  
Emma. Their daughter. The only reason why she would ever talk to him again.  
Ross knew perfectly well he'd be harsh, but he'd had no other choice. He loved Rachel, Emma needed a proper home, and he'd known if he'd let Rachel see Joey again, she would never have come with him.  
He remembered the day he'd taken her away. Her tears, her shouting, her look of sadness. She'd tried to tell Joey how she really felt, but Ross couldn't let her. It would have given Joey hope: hope they would be together again, and Ross couldn't let that happen.  
He had no desire to hurt Joey, but every time he'd seen them together, Ross had felt a pang of jealousy. He'd been in love with her since high school, they'd had a child together..... everyone thought they should be together.  
Everyone, that is, except Rachel.  
  
I never meant to cause you trouble,  
And I never meant to do you wrong,  
And I, well if I ever caused you trouble,  
Oh no, I never meant to do you harm.  
  
Chandler had told Ross what Joey had been like, and Phoebe had turned her back completely on Ross for upsetting Joey so badly.  
Ross hadn't seen Joey in six years. Neither had Rachel. Ross hadn't let her. she had wanted to, desperately, but Ross had been unmovable. She had wanted him at the wedding, but Ross had resisted. If he'd let Rachel see Joey, she'd be gone to him faster than a cheetah at full speed.  
Ross knew all about Joey's completely destroyed career; his departure from 'Days Of Our Lives' had been well publicised. And Ross knew why Joey's career had finished: Rachel. Joey's heart had been broken more times than it could handle.  
And it was all Ross' fault.  
  
Oh no I see,  
A spider web and it's me in the middle,  
So I twist and turn,  
Here I am in love in a bubble,  
  
Ross hated himself for having been so harsh. He loved Rachel, but everything he had done had just pushed her further away. He'd tried to give her years of happiness; all she'd got was years of sadness.  
And Joey. Well, he'd ruined Joey's life. He'd taken away the woman he loved, giving him years of sadness, and the demise of his career, leading to him returning to work at the coffeehouse. The only way Joey managed to stay in his apartment was because the well-off Chander paid for it.  
He remembered Joey and Rachel together: the smiles of happiness, the affectionate kisses. The only time Rachel and he had kissed since he'd taken her away was at the wedding, and her only real smiles were around Emma.  
  
Singing, I never meant to cause you trouble,  
I never meant to do you wrong,  
And I, well if I ever caused you trouble,  
Although I never meant to do you harm.  
  
Ross sat in the glow of the rising sun, trying to figure out his head.  
He still loved Rachel, but he knew there was no way he'd ever had her again. But then, he'd never really had her - her heart had always been with Joey.  
He wanted Rachel to be happy, and he knew that for that to happen she'd have to be with Joey. He'd be happy for them, and who knows, maybe he'd be able to move on.  
  
Maybe. 


	4. Somewhere

Somewhere  
  
Author's Note: The final chapter! Here it is! The end! Read, enjoy, and review! The song used is Somewhere from West Side Story.  
  
UPDATED - I'll say this again - If you don't like this, don't review. Bad reviews are pointless. I welcome criticism but there's no need to insult me. I know I've made Ross rather harsh, so don't tell me that, I know. But it was needed for the purpose of this story, so it happened.  
  
Premise: Rachel returns to New York.....  
  
Disclaimer: I do not own Joey or Rachel, but can I please borrow them for a day sometime?  
  
There's a place for us  
Somewhere a place for us  
Peace and quiet and open air  
Wait for us  
Somewhere  
  
Rachel's hands steered the car along the street, her eyes fixated on the street, but her mind was not concentrating on driving.  
All she could think of was Joey.  
She was going to see him again. She was going to be with him again. She was goign to hold him, to kiss him, to love him. She was going to go to sleep in his arms every night. Nothing would ever tear them apart again.  
She entered the moonlit streets of New York City. Even though the sun had not yet risen, there were quite a few cars already on the road. Rahcle's mind was on automatic; even though she hadn't been here in six years, she knew these streets like the back of her hand.  
She steered the car around a corner, and gave a start of surprise when she realised that this was it. This was the street where she'd lived for eleven years. This was the street where Joey was. This was the street where she'd be happy again.  
  
There's a time for us  
Some day a time for us  
Time together with time to spare  
Time to learn, time to care  
Some day  
Somewhere  
  
She looked up at the building she hadn't seen for six years, except in her dreams.  
All the windows were black with darkness. She saw the balcony of Monica and Chandler's apartment, and remembered her last memory of being there.  
It was the day before Ross had taken her away. She was looking out at the sparkling lights of the city, with Joey's arms wrapped around her. She remembered the sweet touch of his lips; the touch that had taunted her for years, the touch she was forbidden to have; the touch she was desperate for.  
She ran into the building, almost tripping up as she vaulted up the stairs. The dull lights made little difference in the darkness, and she squinted, trying desparately to find the right one.  
There it was. Number 19.  
  
We'll find a new way of living  
We'll find a way of forgiving  
Somewhere  
  
She froze.  
For the first time since she'd left the house last night, doubts entered her mind. What if he hadn't forgiven her for leaving? What if he was scared of getting his heart broken again? What if he thought it wasn't worth the risk?  
She had to take the risk. She needed to see his face again. Now she'd finally left Ross, she couldn't imagine what would happen if she wasn't with Joey.  
She loved him. And love conquers all.  
She raised her hand and knocked at the door.  
  
There's a place for us  
A time and a place for us  
Hold my hand and we're halfway there  
Hold my hand and I'll take you there  
  
Joey's head shot up at three sharp raps at his door.  
Who would come here at six in the morning? Monica, Chandler and Phoebe were the only ones who would possibly call at his hour, and they would have let themselves in.  
Three more knocks.  
Thinking it must be important, Joey heaved himself out of the barcolounger and walked slowly over to the door.  
He opened it, and his jaw dropped.  
It was Rachel.  
  
Somehow  
  
It was Joey.  
He looked no different, apart form the sadness which appeared to have been etched onto his face. This was the Joey she had loved, this was the Joey she would love forever.  
She just stood there, a bag by her side, waiting for him to do something.  
He just stared at her. Then she noticed a tear drop from his eye and slide down his face.  
She didn't know what to do.  
  
Someday  
  
Joey felt the tear slide down his cheek, but he still didn't move.  
This was Rachel, the woman he had fallen in love with nine years ago, the woman he would always love for the rest of his years. she was standing right in front of him, looking more beautiful than ever, and he couldn't move.  
Suddenly, she moved fowards. Her hand brushed his, and they slid together, the warm skin rubbing each other gently.  
He was touching her for the first time in six years.  
  
Somewhere  
  
She fell into his arms, smelling his body, holding him tight.  
  
He let her fall into his arms, sniffing her hair, holding her tight.  
  
They were together again. 


End file.
